Relationship Sunday
Proverbs 31:10-13, 19-20, 30-31; 1 Thessalonians 5:1-6; Matthew 25:14-30
Besides crying foul because of the association of this first reading with the exploitation of women, could one see something there other than exploitation? Is there some good news there that comes through the agency of women? A comparative analysis of the binary vocabulary of our first reading makes it a text on wisdom, the correlation between the human person and earthly social existence: she and her husband, she and her heart, good and evil, she and her life, her hands and the distaff, her fingers and the spindle, she and the poor, she and the needy, and “the the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”. Remember that the book of Proverbs starts out with an assumption: “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 1:7), it now concludes on the same note: “the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). What is going on?
Today is relationship Sunday. To understand relationship is to know how to live on earth, in preparation for heaven. Social skills are the lessons of today’s readings. We often forget that the book of Proverbs is a wisdom book, it teaches the Wisdom of God to Israel. Today, it teaches us about RELATIONSHIPS. It does so in a climactic presentation. What is clear from our first reading are lessons on inter-human relationships, relationships 1) with other human beings in marriage, 2) with one’s neighbors, 3) with virtue, 4) with God and 5) the reward of hard work as the crown of human life. Marriage or family is the first social institution, so our first reading starts there.
If we remember that marriage was consequent upon the age of majority for a Jew and around 14 years-of-age for a Jewess, marriage is the first exercise of adulthood, the transition from childhood. The proof of maturity is how one handles adult life. Marriage is the first social institution for a couple. Beauty is neither uppermost on the scale of relationship nor is it the lowest: it simply does not figure at all—“Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting”! The contents of the human heart, that is, the education received from one’s parents is the very least on the scale of importance and God is the top most on the ladder. A woman worthy of trust and a man ready to trust his wife, the reciprocity of trust or open heart between a couple, is the foundation of social life. This is the very first quality in marriage or any social life worthy of its name.
This is how Wisdom weaves the web of relationships—a trusting and good heart, the virtue of charity, the fear of the Lord, and the reward of hard work. Our first reading enumerates what a good heart contains, in addition to trust. A trusting and open heart attracts goodness, not evil. This is the virtue that inhabits a trusting heart—goodness. The goodness of the heart is made visible through actions—hard work. The hard work of a woman attracts praises, and the society accords her due respect. The nature of the hard work is her contribution to the society, especially to the needy and the poor—her neighbors. It is the article of clothings she knits and distributes to her needy neighbors that attract praises for her, not just what she offers to her husband and family. The insistence on reaching out her “hands” and “arms” to others means she gives food to her hungry neighbors in addition to clothes. The climax is: “the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
Who can fail to see the beauty in a woman like this or in a heart like hers? Imagine that we have many hearts today like hers, would will have all these wars that surround us today: racial wars, class wars, gender wars, tribal wars, economic wars, national wars, etc.? When we bring our feminist mindset to interpret our first reading, we deny the inherent and God-given goodness in womanhood and hard work! It is to correct this type of negative reading that Jesus gives us the parable of today’s gospel.
It is from the perspective of the division of labor that our gospel connects with our first reading. Just as women have their roles in families and the society at large, so do men. What matters is how each member of the society discharges his or her duties. The servants, who received different talents in our gospel, will determine for themselves whether they will be praised like the woman who fears the Lord and discharges her duties in our first reading, or they will face God’s chastisement for refusing to “fear the Lord” and do his will. Indeed, the praise of a woman in the first reading presents a contrast with the condemnation of a man who refuses to work, in the gospel, because he fails to possess a trusting heart like the woman of the first reading, he uses his intelligence to act and it backfires. We see the difference between intelligence (in the man) and wisdom (in the woman). Of course, some men use well their talents and our gospel reading tells us what their reward is—extra-talents. We also have the reward for laziness: “And throw this useless servant into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth’” (Matthew 25:30).
Realistically, according to our second reading, it is our journey to heaven that matters, above all else. Paul makes relationship with God important in human readiness for heaven. By calling the Thessalonians children of light and of the day, he underscores that only those who fail to do the will of God, that need to be afraid of either death or the second coming of our Lord. For every Christian, he or she is a child of God, a child of the light, hence, ready for heaven and the second coming of Jesus Christ. For Paul, “staying alert and sober” means doing the will of God always. It is when we fail to live out our lives always as children of God that leads to sin and evil, these are recipes for disaster. It is for the Lord that we work, that our talents are meant to help our brothers and sisters and not to be buried or be afraid of exploitation by others. The second coming of the Lord is to evaluate how we have used our talents, for good or evil, or whether we have buried them through foolish intelligence.
The major challenge of today is our intelligence, and our lack of wisdom. Our intelligence tells us, like the man who hid his talents, to complain about everything! For example, a sexist will complain: women’s lives are so easy, I want to be a woman or men’s lives are so easy, I want to be a man. A lazy person will complain: my boss is too mean, why must I work hard or my boss exploits me, I’ll wreck his business. A teacher may complain: this children/students are slow learners and too irresponsible for me to waste my life on them, I will change jobs. Or, a spouse may complain: bringing up children is too difficult, I refuse to marry or I will marry, but no kids. Christians too complain: God is too forgiving, I will teach my enemy a lesson or chastity is too difficult, I will enjoy my life anyway! On the contrary, the woman of wisdom in our first reading simply carried out her duties joyfully because her heart is trusting and full of the “fear” of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is love of the Lord, the love that makes us do the will of God and NOT have the fear of punishment.
God has created us as social beings because he wants us to live with one another, and not to kill one another. The requirements of a social life include possessing different talents and gifts. It is our positive relationships that make us like unto God, who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. With the wisdom of God, we realize that no one exploits another, that we are all brothers and sisters expected to complement one another through our racial, gender, age, national, cultural and political differences. Indeed, it is “relationship Sunday”: we must learn to fill our hearts with God’s wisdom and love, and purify our intelligence from the phobia of other people and their differences/talents. Yes, variety is the spice of life!
Assignment for the Week:
Buy a gift for or feed a stranger this week.